Eight Things That Will Be Difficult as Hell to Adjust to Once We’re Out of Quarantine
While everyone has their own unique way of coping with the global pandemic, there’s one thing most of us agree on: every day has felt like a month—at least. It’s hard to believe that it’s really only been a matter of weeks since life as we knew it has vanished, replaced with an onslaught of masks and fear and a dearth of paper goods and sanity. The best news about crises like these is that, at some point, they come to an end. And when that occurs, we will emerge from quarantine and attempt to get back to…well, whatever normal is going to look like then. That said, there’s bound to be a transition period during which we’ll need to weed whack bushy body hair and figure out how to be less sketched out by our fellow human beings in order to adjust to social closeness.
Here are eight things that are going to be ridiculously tough to acclimate to once quarantine ends.
- Wearing painful clothes.
Bras? “Hard” pants? Pants with zippers? SPANX? What are those? Where are those? And why have we been torturing ourselves by wearing them all the damn time? After the 1918-1919 flu pandemic, women all but burned their corsets and threw on easy, breezy shifts. After this—mark my words—yoga pants will be the new flapper dress.
- Seeing toilet paper in stores.
If you never in a million years envisioned yourself standing in the middle of a Target crying happy tears over paper goods, just wait until Angel Soft is back in stock. Cottonelle, too. Wait, wait, AND Charmin? A new day has dawned.
- Being able to buy flour, yeast, and anything related to baked goods.
For some reason, hoarders decided they needed to spend quarantine using loads of TP and baking all the cakes, leaving the rest of us with sad little bags of spelt—if we were lucky. Once store shelves are stocked with all the ingredients—move over, Duff!
- Shoes and bags and makeup.
Whether you’re woefully staring at all of your accessories and beauty products and murmuring “I miss you,” or not, relearning how to pull your whole lewk together is going to be a thing.
- Roads … covered … in cars.
Whoever thought they’d be able to well do over 20 mph in places like Times Square or the 405 freeway? Welp, that is our new normal, and once the quarantine ends, we’ll be back to bumper to bumper. Cue the road rage.
- Carrying on conversations.
You’ll have to get re-accustomed to talking face-to-face with other people with whom you do not reside—without being required to stare at yourself in a small box in the corner of a screen. And if you’re a parent of a baby, you’ll be easing back into speaking English over parentese. Weird.
Once upon a time, there were these irritating noises that would blare in your ear to wake you up and remind you that it was time to get in your car and go do a thing with other people doing that same thing. When bringing those back, you might want to start with a lower volume or vibration mode.
- Places and people.
Remember places? Going to them without worrying if they are deemed “essential?” How about seeing other human beings while at these places? Pretty wild concept you’ll have to wrap your head around. Note that some of these people will be fun to be around once more, while you’ll quickly realize that others are those idiots you were so enjoying avoiding when you were safer at your idiot-free home.
Written by: Maressa Brown